My life in Old Lady stockings

Due to some really strange, unknown computer issues, I have been unable to get into my page, hence the long pause in writing.

Now that I am back to work, albeit a bit slowly, I have these wonderful knee high stockings that hold in everything. Compression stockings are what they are called. They remind me of things that my grandma would wear to help with the edema in her ankles. Hence the name Old Lady stockings! Hopefully I haven't offended anyone by that. I am thankful that I had the person I did to fit me. She was very charming and very thorough and as she has to wear support stockings all the time she shared some great knowledge about custom orders and how they come in different colors, sport socks, etc. This is a good thing as I will be wearing these for the rest of my life. I can't complain however, because they are actually really comfortable and I find that my ankles and feet don't ache like they used to before life with Old Lady stockings. My dear friend, Esther, reminded me of when she was pregnant with one of her boys and had to wear them-I think hers were pantyhose however and I understand that is a whole nother ballgame. She had quite the time getting them on and they were quite restrictive. I am VERY happy that this is not the case for me. I will take my knee highs any day over full on pantyhose compression stockings! Not to mention I get a kick out of showing off my "sexy old lady hose".

I was reminded last night of how much people missed me (that felt really, really good) since this was the first CoOp Council meeting I was able to attend since getting sick. It also mad me realize how blessed I am to regain my health and how wonderful it is to have people who care and pray for me. I was also reminded that I had neglected my duties as chairperson of the multiple committees that fall under my job-opps. I felt a little guilty but have put together a game plan to get on it first thing in January. Not to mention that the Co-Chair of the counsel is a complete blessing and has offered to help me with it and help with anything I need-I love that lady. She is a grandma who has offered her time to meet her daughters obligation to the CoOp while her daughter goes to school, so that her grandkids can benefit from the CoOp. She is cool and goes by Mimi (her grandkids word for grandma) by everyone at the school. She reminds me a lot of a younger version of my own beloved Grandma B., loving and kind and concerned about everyone as if they were her own children/grandchildren. I wish more people like that lived in this world so that those who long for and deserve a loving grandparent/parent relationship could have one. I guess that is what makes it nice when we can create our own family of choice.

I was reminded of this when I was talking to Esther yesterday about issues with her selfish sister and neglectful parents. I do not say that lightly, and I do not say these things to be mean. I just cannot honestly describe her childhood with these people as anything but neglectful emotionally and in some cases physically. My heart was breaking as she was telling me about how "put out" her sister was when she called her on the carpet about some of the selfish crase things she has done and accuses her of "constantly bringing up hurtful, spiteful childhood issues from the past." Part of me is callous and reminds myself of the mean nickname I had given her sister when we were in high school because of the rediculous sacrifices Esther made in order to make her sister more comfortable and "special". In reality it was just another example of how two messed up parents allowed their extremely selfish younger daughter run their lives as well as deprive Esther of the basic human necessities and love most healthy people get as teens and young adults. The funny thing is. Esther has processed out of all this and has grown tremedously into an incredible human being and it is the rest of the family that feels threatened by her happiness and trys to blame her for their own unhappiness. Luckily, Esther is so much healthier that she does not allow this garbage to become her own, but gentle puts it back where it belongs, on them. Unfortunately, this results in limited relationship for Esther, but as I pointed out to her yesterday. This truly does free her to focus on her immediate family and her extended family of choice who love her unconditionally, pray for her, and support her in her triumphs and struggles.

I guess that is why God puts people like Mimi in our lives. So that we know that there are people we can count on to help us through, to celebrate our victories, to lift us up, and give us someone to lift up. I still believe in praying for those in our bio family, even if we don't have a healthy relationship with them, but that doesn't mean we need to be pulled down into their self made mire.

Wow, I guess I have had a lot on my mind tonight. Cheers to all and remember to take time out for you this busy season.

As wonderful, spiritual, giving, and loving Mother Teresa was, as it shows in her personal diaries, she had no living person to fill her up when she was empty. She turned to her diaries to give honor to her doubts and shortcomings (or at least what she thought were her shortcomings). Even someone as pure and wonderful as she had times when she needed to get out the negative things that plagued her.

Find something that fills you back up so that you can be ready to be a beacon of light to others and so that your pitcher never runs out.

Love and Prayers for now...